I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
im at wits' end for the ava script.seriously.slept at like 3 last night and woke around 5.en im not tired at all.its as though im just a dead,empty corpse with no feelings.As though my feelings are totally dead.i used to be stressed and tired all the time,yet now,i dont complain and just do what im supposed to,which is so out of my league.its like..i gave up on myself already,en all the whatever bullshit feelings i have.oh please.fcuk this hell.
no one knows,let alone FEEL any of the pain im going through.ANY' of it.
no one sees how the blood from my heart is slowly dripping my life away.
no one can ever understand whatever fcuking shit im going through.
everyone keep saying,"i understand..really.its just a matter of time." en try to comfort me with alot of stuff.it seriously isnt helping you know.i've just realized though.the only remedy..is to let you go.once and for all.i need to move on.i cant just put my life on this little tiny thin string over the edge.ah forget it.i cant express everything.no one can really understand fully.
& if only i didnt meet you at all...
&I thought...Nevermind.
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