I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
last friday.
weell.nothing much that i can actualy rmbr.except that the video was showcased.lol.we got pretty good response from everyone.(: i've got 14 guys on my acting list now,lining -.- at least i wont have to worry bout lack of actors this year! maybe we can do a broadback mountain.LOL.just kidding.heh.british council was mad that day.jie lin nvr come.SOB. =/ nvm,brian still entertained me.your hair is soooo flat now.HA HA.=x omg,i nvr knew priscilla,shikin,bensum,alvin...etc & the rest of us could be so...HORNY.ROFL.i stil burst out laughing when i think of it.its kinda sick but well,hilarious! i nvr seen bensum laughed so much before -.- if jielin was there,i think the room might have jst exploded due to overdose of laughing gas.(: but it was funnn! went home with priscilla after that,we talked.well,its okay pris,things will turn out jst fine.its always like THAT. <3
last saturday.
hmms.had ss in the morning.then...nothing much bah.yupp.headed to pw for usual tuition.met alot of tk people.i didnt go for band comp. x( but well.at least for a good cause,to studyyy! =x haha.about 1 plus met them for lunch before they headed to band comp,& i headed for A maths tuition at mavis,Mr Ng.
last sunday.
met up with shenny,diane & joanna about 1 plus.bought lunch & we headed to tuition centre.oh man,lots & lots of krapping plus laughing.shenny brightens up all of our day.(: haha! with her taiwan chinese accent & perfect american english.its so cliche.things were even more fun with nick around.we all argued with him.oh,& mengting was there!YOOO,SHANGHAI WOMAN.we keep going to the same tuition yeah?coool.(: then shenny left for her barbeque.so diane & joanna bought dinner back.we all left about 9?yupp.
monday.
sch per normal.headed over to auntie alvina's after E maths.i havent been there for 2 months.& things changed hell lot.i miss the place.(: before tuition,cus i reached early,sunny met me downstairs & we sat & talked.brian was having tuition.so yup.we talked about lots of stuff as usual.& some things shocked me....like...but nvm.then history lesson.after that,me brian & sunny went & 7-eleven to talk again.then went home bout it think,8 plus bah. oh yeah,she didnt come sch.by the way,i dont hate you.in case if you're referring to me lah.
tuesday.
had chem & physics mock revision after sch.damn hard.screw.even chem.more than half blank.shitt.im offically dead.then then...went for pw tuition with diane & leanne.omg,supr horny/yet very matured session talk/tuition of chem& E maths.we talked so much on life & some in depth stuff that it was well...scary.haha.diane was like "aww.poor weiru.im so sorry you have to listen to all this crap." haha.its okay.(: i learnt some stuff yup.
wednesday.
ooohh.chem i got 90! xD whahahaa.everyone was like,"weiru you damn pro lah,previous time get f9 then now shoot up all the way to one of the top with a1 somemore." HEH.the other f9 time was accidential.i was too tired to think i blanked out marh. x( then after that....erh.nothing much.oh wait.mr choi's last A maths lesson.SIGH.i will miss him.i like that teacher =/ dammit.his first career is law firm eh! whoooa.damn cool!(: he gave us all oreos & remedial people got kinder brueno too.(: wheeee.then then.left for assembly.ava people could stay in gallery so yup.i went there.nicole,jasmine &donna hid out there too,to avoid dying of boredom.lol.then audi for second period.i went control room.on the way met them &they took all the chocolates.boy,they're damn wierd/hilarious.BUT.i shall not go into details.heh heh.it isnt a good day,but.....well.i dont paticularly care about you anymore,jst like how you don't,to me.i overheard everything,alrighte.&i didnt know you hated me to want to be there for you,to make things right.so yup,i'll keep away from you.^^ so now you happy?cool. then had A maths at mavis about 8.cynthia plus limpon came.thanks,cynthia,for helping me in A maths & for all the encouragement that i can do it.<3 limpon,my LONG LOST CHILDHOOD FRIEND.omg omg.it was soooo LONG ago.alamak.rmbr jiahong,weijie & ali right?haha.miss those times.<33333
thursday.
i didnt go sch.was having a high fever.then stay home studyy for history.biang.super alot can.then went hospital.injection.it hurt.as usual.then go home chionggg for history again.then...yupp.had a very short talk with a friend whom has been....well.sort of ignoring me the past few weeks.well.im glad we talked it out.& that things are almost back to normal.i admit i was shocked ytd when your attitude suddenly changed..so much towards me.but yeah,it feels like the old times in sec 1.haha^^ anyway.you really mean alot as a friend to me,or else i wouldnt bother feeling hurt about the way you were towards me.even though i dont know the reason still,but its okay.what matters is now,isnt' it?hope things will be even better between us for the next one &half years if im stil arnd. <3,girll!
TODAY!
oooh.start of exams.PANIIC.nicholas ask me to go his class for urgent thing in the morning & then he passed me a present from someone else.mm.im surprised.anyway.my two lil sweet juniors.nicholas & ridzwan wished me happy birthday.awww.sweet.(: english paper was okay bahh.then recess.the present happened to be a box of chocolates,which once i opened,many people came rushing. -.- then then.i went down to find them &on the way met some teachers i know.only mdm rubina & ms lim ah ber each took one ^^ &all the teachers wished me happy birthday!hee.ms lim is nice.she had a talk with me in a usual funny way.shit,i miss her =/ call me wierd but YEAH.then met them downstairs.i merely held on the chocolates,in less than 2 seconds,the whole box was GONE. -.- LOL.i got bullied like shit by them as usual laa,can.idiots.one of them supr happy eating chocolate again horh,when you jst took some on...wednesday! with the two others.haha.so i brought a totally empty box home.then had history.okay bah i think.stupid sourse based was....AHH.then no alliance at all! fuck.oh,&my hair is damn messy again.examination stress.i cant help it.then then.what else happen ah.ooooh,then health check.i shall not elaborate on it.then...waited for the group of them cus one of them msged me to wait then i wait.for like one hour plus.eeeeyer.then we jst walked all the way to katong.i got bullied again.as usual.but it was fun laa.they went to play lan,( these SLACKERS ),all 14 of them.then i took a cab home.there's british council today! cheeeeerrr for fridays :D
i think thats all lerh bah.
you have no idea how much im hurting.it jst hurts more & more by each day.i keep getting reminded of how close we used to be,msging almost every minute of the day,being there for each other & stuff.it makes me cry,heartwrenching.it tears me inside.i still cant let go.the flashes keep coming back.i jst dont see the "me getting over you" symptom happening.at least not anytime soonn.or even close to soon.im trying very hard to be okay,to survive without you.you have no idea how much i need you now at this point of time even as a friend.but you're not here.its reality,i guess.i'll jst have to deal with it.i'll be fine,strong!(:
>cos' the giirrrrl that you want,she was tearing us apart!
>what do you do,when it all falls apart.
>come baby,we ain't gonna live forever!
>someday somehow,gonna make it alrighte,but not right now!
>cos' she's everything,everything im not.
>life,taught me to die
>love,taught me to lie.
-oh yeah.thanks to you all,for the stuff you guys have done.you people are the group that i got close to,& unexpectedly,the ones that were there for me.exp lin an,junjie,lin yi,alex,chang xu,kai lun...etc.the sec one/sec two group.im eternally grateful for you all keeping my day bright &making me feel like im back in taiwan again,whre i miss so much.im so glad to have met you all & all the lunches & stuff.i know i can count on you guys to help me when im in trouble.you guys are so hilarious & oh,i can practise my chinese oral with you all everyday rmbr?HA HA.&i can type chinese msgs sooo much faster now thanks to the msgs you all blast me each day.anyway.dont keep going lan laaa....study! be good!(: heh.& im not da sao dammit.bu yao shui bian luan jiao horh. +.+ zzzz' i've nvr actually laughed so much until i met you bunch of cheena clowns =x but well,the outings were all fun.&junjie,to your advice on my fears i told you,thanks.i truely understand it now.you sound like some priest though.you guys have stood up for me in some times,& well.thanks for all the help.(:
to the taiwanese people,taiwan this december!(: rockkk.we're the blue people & ah bian plus the green people can all dieeeee!
to the china& hongkong people,shoo shoo! =x nah jk.we'll show you guys arnd taiwan(:
thanks for the chocolates,lin an.^^ to the rest of you,NO SURPRISES tmr PLEASE. =/ usual lunch anyway.seeeeee you.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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