I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
fuck.im actually failing chinese,can you believe it.ng ah noi hates me to the core lah.i havent passed any of her LAME tests or passed up any of her work.but the thing is,she started to lose my books FIRST.then she blah blah,say alot of stuff.she's full of crap,super hypocrital.seriously.i cannot,stand her.she gave me a 24 over 100 for hmt.lowest in the level.HELLO?compo also give me lowest.she mark until super shuang i think.bloody hell,she's got a big problem against me.& thanks lah,for the stupid mark!bitch.i never ever hate a teacher so much to this extent,exp a chinese teacher.im even starting to miss ah ber so much.=/ really.ng ah noi,you're a big big exception ^^ you have sucessfully pissed me off permanently.& you ain't no pretty high qualification saint as you seem to think you are.
to you.stop giving me that dao look or giving me the ignore atittude which i know you're so famous for doing it to people jst cus you dont feel like it or smth.you're the last person i actually thought i would have conflicts with,but well.i can see it arising.& its gonna be huge if it blows up.well,i have a very very short limit.yeah.i sort of guessed the reason why you're acting this way,but well.i dont give a fuck about that thing,so why bother to show me that you dislike me or smth.that thing has nothing to do with me & i dont give a damn about it.you want to,you go ahead,NOT MY PROBLEM RIGHT.
i keep thinking over your words these few days.& the more i think about it,the more i find so right.& the reality of everything jst sinks in deeper into me.thanks >:D
23,well.im fine.really.im glad we're both trying to be like before.&..yeah.there's improvements.im glad.(: even though...those words hurt me.alot.but..well.nvm.some words&emotions are best left unsaid/unseen/unfelt.its all finally over anyway.i wont have to think whether we can still make it,cus the facts are already put out.i will bury everything deep inside me & pretend everything is fine & its not hurting me.you know the way i work.so rejoice,dont feel guilty.(: i'll cope with my inner self okay.we'll jst be,friends.hopefully,like the good old times.(: sf xmm & bgf ah gong!haha.
im making some changes to plans,but i'll update when it's confirmed.some people will know what im talking about.(: dont get too excited.im jst double doing everything horh.
>to cry till every single cell in you is in excruciating pain.to cry till you bleed.to cry till you cant breathe.to cry till...your heart jst stops.that cant even say half of what im feeling.sometimes,i wonder,or rather,i know.no one gives a damn about how i feel or how i am or anything.im jst a lil nobody who's screwed up,in denial of the fucked up world full of hypocrital people.the shut-off mood is going to be on to a higher level from now on to those people.one day,maybe.i'll jst disappear without a word.no one knows.
>she's everything im not.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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