I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
all of a sudden,i miss my best friend back in singapore alot.had a very skimpy convo with her jst now,talking bout randon stuff,bout her handover camp tmr & NZ trip.she's always so busy w/ stuff.she went offline,i jst stared at the convo.the sudden nostalgia.there's so many things i want to tell her,to let it out my heart & stuff.to jst,ramble out everything in my mind to her & cry out...but it then struck me,we're pratically in two different worlds already.in contrast,she & i lead totally different lives.we've drifted apart so much,that its scaring me.it surprises me how much i actually need her to be there for me,but i know,its not possible.i dont know why im feeling so alone.so...broken up.haha.okay,nvm.there's something very wrng with me this morning.(its morning here laa.)haiiii.i dont know why i feel that way these few days.& now im feeling bad cos i got ziwen into trouble & im not going to make it for nicole's birthday at all.great,im such an oh-so-nice friend.so,shoot me.
i've came to a decision,or rather,my heart made it.
the choice feels depressing,knowing the things,life& people i'll be leaving behind,yet somehow,a sort of calmness overcame me along with it,knowing the future that its holding here.
oh well,i have the rest of my so called summer hols to change my mind.
mm.gotta leave soon.for munich : D
why are my stuff like,strewn all over the place ah? -.-
zzzzzzz
&I thought...Nevermind.