I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
> kinda dumb huh.
> hospital time.
> meng mei yi qiu de wen rou.
> our last summer,pri sch girls. <3333
> one last kiss.
> never thought it'll end this way.
> i've been strong.really strong.
> you're jst like that,granted.
> i guess i shouldnt be hurt or anything,right.
> lao shi,QING ni bi zui.see,im SO POLITE as well,aren't i? fuck lah.
> mildred yap is very cruel & she realy shouldnt have done that today.very very error of her and its so inhuman.she pms lah.bloody hell.she's doesnt have a thought for other's feelings.besides,what buisness was that of hers?!! very funny eh.
> shut up,stop asking.
> how heavy are army boots ah.?
> ZOUK is still the best(:
> she slappd her boyfriend.HAII.she & her slapping habits.
> fever heating up.
> delirious.
> a lie to live.
> yeah,you're right.the two of us shall smile together our way through each other/through life huh.HA.
> pretence.
> you could get an oscar award for this act.
> FINALLY.
> hey yehan.sorry we havent talked for long but HAIYAH.we're all past that now.
> & you're still as lame as ever,yehan -.-
> nicole.yep,no relationships for meeeee.
> haiii.stupid flirt,hurting people.
> girl,be strong.i know you can.if if gets too bad,get the tagboard off.its better not to know alot of stuff cos the hurt would be less.so yeah,smile more.im always here for you. <3333
> changxu,i'll hold to the end of our deal : D
> lifeng,thanks for always being so sensitive and to listen to me.many many thanks.
> haha melson,i da pai what,can get two sec ones to get my stack of books,cannot ah!(:
> alex,im not superwoman.senseless -.-
> love for your dreams.
> i was watching you from afar.
> & they both cried in the toilet.kinda mean,but YEAH!
> rachel,you're still as blur as ever.haha,cute one.(:
> she went..."HER?!!?!",pointing at me from the other end of the canteen where the two of them were,in incredulous horror & shock.ROFL.im supposed to be pissed,but looking at her face,it is far too darn funny to be pissed.exp when it was b cos her best friend was telling her about how i helped her ( her best friend. ) LOL.how convenient eh.the girl who loathes me,her best friend is kinda indebted & friendly with me.HAHA.
> fuck,why the hell am i thinking of you again.
> OH PLEASE.let me pass my geog.FOR ONCE.
> i shall get ready to be killed my ms puja soon.
> 127 days keeps replaying in my head.
> thank you,jasmine.oh & i might as well sell my whole phone to you lah.you & worms whole day.anyway,ignore her,she's jst pmsing.cheer up(:
> whats with "elle oh elle" ah,abby? o.0
> im sorry,i didnt catch that?
> i wish you'd have realised it ealier & told me before feelings rooted.
> tell me that its over.
> my tears are turning into time.
> wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye.
> EH,KID.whre's my harry potter book?hen jiu lerh worh.
> you're right changxu.why do we love even when we know it hurts?
> COS we cant control it,when love jst comes.sacrifices,waiting & all those stupid foolish stuff happens.
> still sick.
> facade of smiles.
> july 23 approaching.hmm.oh,I'VE GOT A DATE ON THAT DAY.HAHA.I AM HONOURED. : D
> the power of love.
> you won't get to see the tears i cryyy!
> alex,why the hell are you so free,after sleeping a super long nap,& now still baking CHOC CAKE?!! -.-
> & i go on being stronger,pretending.
> saturday,golden run & PIRATES AFTER THAT. (: eh wait,then pool? =/
> OH YESSSSS.finally,i get my debts back.(:
> I SWEAR to get a new geog wb at first basis.
> yanting & mr ng's catchphrase. " YOU ARE SO GL." LOL. mr ng started it.and dont ask me whats gl,go figure.haha.(:
> me & jingyi : "eh mr ng,can dont read the chinis passage already?why your chinese so lan one. :[ " LOL.
> ....LALA.
> i do care bout you all! =/
> well,im not in the mood for anything like this now.im sorry,but i have to say,thanks for all the help given.& th shoulder.you're deeply appreciated.<3333
many things have happened & changed drastically these few days/week.but then,again.im jst one lil emo girl so ignore whatever im talking about.im jst being irritatingly random,and talking to myself.
well well well.so its all over.pahh,jst like that.i guess somehow i saw it coming.i knew it when you lied,it was jst so clear to me.we're both using that super sacrastic acting and to others,we seem like best buddies,if not,still the same.to you,its natural.have you ever thought of wondered how i've been handling and struggling to pretend on,to not break down or cry.its like,i jst see you and auto on that super big smile & start the usual lame stuff.its tiring to pretend,but im jst one stupid girl,who is happy as long as you're happy.so...as long as you're okayyy,it doesnt matter how much im hurting or how tired i am.doesnt matter to me,at all.i shall seriously not care anymore.i wont bother to know any more stuff.HAIYAH.i give up,totally.forget about it,go on,be yourself,be happy with whoever she is,i shall be supporting you all the way and be there beside you if you need anything.its jst that simple.from now on,let\s forget the whole past & whatever ever happened between us.its useless.things gone,wont come back anymore.
lifeng,you are so sensitive and can tell every reason behind each action i make and knows smth is wrng as long as i do smth. -.- haha.but its like,i dont have to say & you know it.& you're the only one who has not blabbed anything,trustable.you're my best lil brother. : D
&I thought...Nevermind.
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