I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
im super lazy to type randoms today so yeah,forgive me : D haha.i've got nothing really much to update actually.ponned sch on thursday,was kinda sick.saw jasmine outside tuition and yeah,we kinda talked alot.& then friday went lunch with lin yi,ziwen & lifeng at crystal jade parkway before they all headed back to sch for oral while i stayed behind to meet mitchell,who is BACK in sg for a few days.(: havent seen him for a long long time.then we jst talked...about personal family stuff.i guess i kinda broke down when i got home...yeah.have been in a bad mood for days already,snapping easily at everyone,blasting.friday night kinda really lost any sense and really blasted so called lifeng to talk,cos i figured ah gong would be busy bah.so yeah.lifeng was shocked and realy worried cos it was the first time he actually see me so hysterical.he was used to seeing me under my cool,pretending through and stuff.yeah,so he was super worried.haha,im sorry. =/ then lin an called & we talked too.then after that alex -.- biang.one after another.had a lil conflict with some of them over.....but all's well by saturday morning.met lin an & lin yi at bedok macs to go for the golden run together,concidentially ran into ziwen,lifeng & the some of the rest at macs.so lifeng went with us on the taxi and yeah.golden run was kinda dumb,i didnt run had ava.ada tan made me buy from her stall and yeah,bargained very long time with her.she wanted to draw flowers on my face! 0.o she was in a good mood i guess,acting very small kid.heh.they ran away from the golden run event first to flag taxi while mr koh and mr sim was having their talk.lin an was like," two old men snatching microphone only!" then i went LOL -.- so junjie,lin yi,alex,changxu went to kailun's house to SPA (can you believe it.) while me,lin an,leslie,lifeng & donna went over to yangshun's house to have lunch.ziwen headed home.& so we all met at 1 to watch a 2.10 pirates movie.whole middle row was booked by us.in the middle of everything,alex,changxu & kailun even ran over to cinema 2 to watch superman instead since they watched this before.idiots -.- i ran over for a while too,sitting on the floor beside alex.all i can rmbr of the superman short parts was "bam.bam.BAM!" then all the electricity can out.lol -.- ran back to cinema 1 to contd pirates.well well.it was a big disappointment lah can,pirates.most of us were on the verge of sleeping.or maybe we were all jst too shagged after the golden run thing.but pirates does have its hilarious,stupid parts so yeah,generally okay lah.so after the thing,some went arcade for a while,while i went with junjie & ziwen to SUPERVISE their smoking.sigh,in case they smoke more than one.i couldnt really stand it,but yeah.saw jasmine sim,HEYY.(: hmm.then yeah,went over to pw to meet another long time friend.yeah,dont guess,you'll nvr know who is it.haha.anyway.so reached home at 9 plus,dead tired.called lin an,lifeng & junjie cos they wanted to talk to me.found out some stuff,thanks junjie.
today is july 23.hmmm.ah well.went to bugis to watch macho libre and yeah,kinda jst reached home since i went over to pw too to walk.alex offered to acc me but i was like,im fine w/ it,thanks.you're right.there's no pt in holding on to anything anymore,its been so long.but somehow i know,im hurting cos i still feel for you,somewhere inside me.no matter what,a part of me knows that you will always affect me no matter what.
HAIYAH.i shall blog later in the afternoon/evening okay.very messed up now.seeeee y'all.
&I thought...Nevermind.