I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
> one year from first date.hmmmm.
> ...what to do w/ all these memories ah?
> you're not who you used to be & i wonder where you've gone.
> okay i know im stupid to be thinking this way,OR EVEN HAVE THOUGHT OF IT,but still.it bothers me alot that we didnt meet each other afterall,even though were at the same place.its like how fate didnt want us to be together,in the end.
> most likely we keep narrowingly miss each other.
> have you fallen in a black hole.
> the way you turned to wave at me that day,i never will forget.
> we are desperate people,wanting to be skinny poles.LOL.
> why do i always remember such stuff right down to the smallest detail?my mind is irritating me.
> its shakespeare in love.(:
> now,i don't think the friendship between me & my many years best friend is that deep afterall.
> daisy & rose.
> & i wonder what went wrng.
> edge of seventeen.
> get highhh,wo shei dou bu ming bai,yin wei wo you ni de aiiiii~
> & you go easy easyyyy~
> i cried....as usual.
> why do i keep breaking down/crying these few days.
> & if its alrighte,i'll stay until its late,until you tell me that its time that we moved on.
> & if it takes all night,i'll wait here till the daylight,till that i can see that we jst dont belong.
> & its alrighte again,cos we were wrng afterall...
> go watch "click" people.its funny & absolutely heart wrenching =/awhhh.
> you looked at me across the bball court today,saw me looking at you.maybe i was dreaming,but for the first time since the things started,you held my gaze for a tiniest movement,before you quickly looked away as usual.
> maybe i was illusioning,too desperate to search for any sign on you,that you actually care. ( haha,i am so wrng about it.)
> & my weakest pt is that i keep crumbling inside & give in too easily.not anymore though.
> THE RELATIONSHIP BALL.ROFL.damn stupid.lol.
> you think what.i easy to bully,to be soft ah.fuck you,no its not working that way anymore.you want to play stubborn,so can i.its either you or me now to take the initiative & as i've said,it ain't gonna be me for sure.so if you wont,then let this friendship slowly fade down to hell.
what happened to the good times,what happened to the moments where we felt so much,where's the love now.
i threw the box of memories,things flew out.
i found the box of memories lying on the ground,used to make me smile.
but now i feel so lonely & torn.
&I thought...Nevermind.