I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
i've been bitchy since ytd,im sorry to those who got a full blast of it.like lin an,joshua & some others who met me at tuition today.
FINALLY.things cleared up between me & them when we met today.im glad.again cynthia,thanks for your advice. <3 to the rest of them,we'll all be fine,as we all talked it out today : D
went arcade with shennie for an hour! both of us were super tired of the endless tuition & studying,so we went to parkway arcade to play : D we almost got through the whole dinosaur shooting game things,but i got myself killed halfway -.- zzzzzz.my mood improved alot after that,cos shennie really makes my day with her actions =x then we dutifully,went back to tuition & had our butts glued to the chair and our eyes stick to our work,with our mouth glued shut =/ but still productive work done,im satisfied.oh,me & shennie realized smth shocking.victor plays the piano!grade 7 o.0 that guy can play piano,look good & play basketball,not to mention study well.awhhh,so sweet.lol.
fiona came in for tuition today after disappearing for months.& smth funny happened.she turned around & asked me."whats zero divide by 2 ah?isit minus two?" then my brain was full of chem,i wasnt thinking.then i momentarily cant rmbr.then i was like,"uh...i think....uh.haiyah,where's the calculator?" the whole centre laughed -.- fine lah,i wasnt thinking! dammit :( she asked me whats zero minus 6,whether the answer is minus 6 not.lucky that one,i am not so blur to not realise it.(: haha.oh,& she's sec 3.
i have a crash course geog with vincent at 9.30 in the morning tmr.he finaly has time to teach me.then afternoon i've got to rush to bedok for A maths.then tmr night i have dinner with some.....people.cant miss it,as much as i would love to skip it.
today's 23 btw!as incredible as it seems,i really did not realise it until...like.3 plus?only when fiona asked me for the date,i look at my hp then i realise.but upon realising,i jst stoned for a while rmbring & later i snapped back out of my trance automatically & even smiled.is that supposed to be a sign that im actually moving on,faster than i ever thought i would?he would be proud of me.(: 1 year 2 months,time flies.hmm.
> lin an,i will not lie & say i am not pissed off with you.cos yes,i am so fucking pissed off with you.i am sorry im snapped at you since ytd until now,but i am still snapping at you at this very exact moment,cos i am really not happy,as you would term it.so yeah,whatever it is.i hope my anger towards you will die off in a few days time.in the meantime,i say sorry for whatever i am going to treat you like in the next few days in advance.sorry.
like i said.maybe normal classmates would be so much better.like me & cynthia.like me & michele.like me & yasmin or anyone else.like me & vanessa & so on.really,im not saying this cos im unhappy with you all or anything or im pissed with you all.cos i am really not.i love you all alot,i am saying the truth here.i really do.that is why maybe distance would suit us alot better.i really love & care for you all alot,whether you all choose to believe it.so yup.i stop talking here(: take care.
-with <333,
your friend.(to all of you all.)
&I thought...Nevermind.
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