I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.

...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.

sometimes i dont get what my mind is thinking.really.its so....messy.i cant comprehend.fate works in a wierd way huh.when you told me & showed the proof,its like....i dont know.i felt choked.cos i forgot that whole past until you pointed out & everything.it jst amazes me how everything jst clicked & stuff.how i could have missed the obvious signs.then when im reminded & i rmbr it all.....i rmbr how things were.the big protective brother figure you were in my memories.all those past.but the thing is.hey,we're all grown up now.i dont need protection now,im not the same vulnerable lil girl you used to know & you know it.we're not in the same situation anymore.im not even afraid of getting into a fight w/ you,no matter how big rank your title is,the high profile gangster,whatsoever.we've been hanging out,you pointed out that fact.for the sake of past?maybe.convenience?maybe.feelings?oh,i cant say much bout that.maybe.in search of that same comfort that was lost a very long time ago?maybe too.see,there's so much maybe's.i know you are willing to change & i know the reason.i am grateful,not to mention touched.you have been trying.but i guess once someone is in that 'world',its hard to get out of it.all i have to do each day is to pray nothing will happen.yes,i know what trouble i may be in or whatever bullshit.but since when have i really cared bout such stuff?i had a talk with francis by the way.i know how things have been like for so many years & stuff.& i am not going to blame you that you're like that cos i understand you & i understand the pain you went through & i know your background.i know who you are,inside.whatever the case is,we'll talk after my exams.im sorry,i jst need a lil time,i promise.things have been changing so much,i cant catch up.give me time & i will sort of everything & find what i realy want all along.still,thank you.for so many years.......& stuff.thank you.


> ms yap is so cute.she was like saying all of them,would give me A** for attentiveness,determination,& that i really preservere alot.awh,thanks.
> i am officially tired.yawn.fullstop.
> saw angela & weiming the other day.hmm.
> maybe its time to let go of july 23,once & for all.
> hopefully,things ARE what it seems now.
> EOY's on monday in hall somemore.wtf.


fuck,im having mood swings.messy messy.rachel's b'day tmr : D ahhhh.
i think simont art glass necklaces are so pretttyyyy! =x
anyway.enough of being random.
i've said my piece.
bye bye world,im off piaaaaa'ing.take care all,good luck for EOY's!(:


you'll hear from me in three weeks time,i promise.







now & foreverrrrrr, <3
so tell me,whats life going to be like w/ you.

&I thought...Nevermind.

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