I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
i've missed alot of people.all of you,actually.exp tinghui,jonathan,lifeng,weijia & those girls.those girls im referring to are abby,nicole,imee,donna,jasmine,josephine,shearen.it amazes me even,but i really miss them alot.people like tinghui.i've been worried alot for her while i've been away,hoping she's okay.she's someone who never gave up on me no matter what happened & i love her alot that i refuse to watch her get hurt.people like weijia,i jst miss all the crap talk & stuff.haha. (: stupid guy,he left for shanghai ytd & i jst came back today-.- like jonathan.i've got too much to catch up w/ him,all those times i've pushed him away & stuff.as for lifeng,i miss the advice & company my lil bro always never fails to give me.
all this people.you mean alot to me.i know....i've angered some of you alot this year.some of you cant be bothered w/ me at all,saying that im not worth it & stuff.& things have been bad.but what im trying to say here is.im sorry.i miss everyone here.i miss all the times & everything before....i changed.maybe it's too late or maybe some of you think that im not worth it cos i will jst start my tragic cycle all over again.those pathetic self pitying actions.but no,its not.its not the same anymore.i hope my pt is being taken. <3
now,to you.you are a person i do not want to admit i miss alot.we havent been talking for arnd a mnth.you dont bother to reply or whatever.forget it.im pass all that.im tired.you're not worth it,not worth my time,not worth my thoughts,not worth....anything.i used to think...that you were different.but maybe,i was wrong.i see that now.
> mockery.
4h'07.its a new year.
throw away the past,its over.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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