I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
to july 23 : now,today,i'll finally say this.
i loved you.it's past tense now.
& i know you're happy for me,(:
so it the rest of the world.
im thankful for everything that happened betwn us,
all the memories,no matter good or bad.
the sad times,the times we fought,the time we cried in BK,toriQ,bugis,parkway,the v'day earrings you'd made,520,the boy&girl,the queen&soldier,all the good times we had w/ each other,charlie &thechoc factory,bugis cinema.....&there's so many other things that i won't ever forget.but i guess its been too long.
now,i've finally moved on.
& thank you,for being there for me all this time.for supporting me always,for the great advices,for all the good&bad memories,for the love that was once so true,for how you helped me to get through that rough period of time cos of august 29,&lastly,for being such an incredibly great friend throughout.
&now,let the past just wash away like watery ink on paper.....in our hearts.
<3
&I thought...Nevermind.
sch has been absolute hell.all the pressure talks,teachers lecturing...oh dear.tests coming up & supplementary scheduled all the way to like term 2 already.everyday after sch is booked FULL.sigh,let's pray that this year flies fast yeah.i shall piaaaaa hard in the meantime(:
> & the phrase " if you love me,don't go" ,is absolute bullshit.exp you,you are no position to say it.not at all,boy.
> if that's so ,why don't you tell me face to face & deny my accusations?
> & all i can do is watch & wonder whre the boy i knew had gone.
> &then you'd realise that everything you did to me was wrng.
> smth's wrng,but what's wrng.
> white flag.
> tmr...
> whre's all my faith now?
you gotta understand
all this has to end
cos i don't wanna wait for you anymore
can't take it anymore.
&I thought...Nevermind.
i swear,im going to get a punching bag by end of tmr before i really lose it & jst wack the wall.dammit.my head's hurting like mad & its getting on my nerves.i can't think,im very irritated by everything,i feel my temper rising,& i have the disguisting to urge to burst into tears & cry until i die.
school's opening on wednesday.great.looks like the worse is still behind.thanks for the movie today,qirui.blood diamond is a freaking good movie which is really heart wrenching& educational.also,w/ suave leonardo starring in it,its a definite bonus.go watch it people,you won't regret it.you'll learn alot from there.but its nc 16 btw,those below that age can try sneaking in at small cinemas.
> happy 2007 people.thanks for all those people who helped me out so much through 06',the girls,tinghui,weijia,that clan of guys....etc,you know who you people are. <3
&I thought...Nevermind.
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