I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
these weeks were hectic,all the tests & amounts of hmk.i think maybe im jst too stressed up as well,resulting in me breaking down so easily like that.plus,all the bullshit problems bugging my life right now...i guess i dont blame vincent tan,ms lim ah ber &mrs tan (puiling) that i look in a horrible state.cos when i looked into the mirror this morning,i really did look like a total wreck/mess."no life/energy",lol.but im going to clear up things that are within my control,like my stupidity to get played by him over&over again.but some things which are out of my reach like....some other problems...well.like ziwen said,past is past.you are you.your family is your family.everything is a different matter altogether.
well.yeah,maybe.it's jst the stupid insecurity feeling i also have around with me,& the fear of being alone when i desperately need a hug.this dumbass trait of mine has to be changed,or else...i'll jst be wrecked by people again&again,being affected.no more being soft hearted,no more,really.
Nicole,thanks for the advices&talks for these past few days.You might think that you're just doing this cos im a friend &you care,but i don't know how to explain to make you understand how much all these mean to me.How much at this time,your prescence& advice is invaluable to me.You always had the ability to make me wake up or knock some sense into me.Talking to you always made me feel better/lighter cos you're really a rather optimistic,bubbly &"full of energy" girl,always laughing yah.(: i admire your determination &will to be strong ¬ think about stuff,&just go on as normal.i wish i could be like that too,&i'll try. <3
&I thought...Nevermind.
archivesY
February 2005March 2005April 2005May 2005June 2005July 2005August 2005October 2005November 2005December 2005January 2006February 2006April 2006May 2006June 2006July 2006August 2006September 2006October 2006November 2006December 2006January 2007February 2007March 2007April 2007May 2007June 2007July 2007August 2007September 2007