I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
I don't understand...how a person once so close to you,could just turn his back & forget about everything that happened.
Friendship = zero.
Suddenly,even the past doesn't seem real anymore.
I know I'm not &never will be good enough.
I feel...inferior to her.
But...at least.Give me credit for being the actual one who has been standing here for you all this while.
...If only you could see it.
But maybe you'll never understand.
You never did anyway,didn't you.
Everything is just so fucking ironical.The more I think about it,the more I want to burst out in cold laughter.
Crashing crashing crashinggggggggg'
I don't want to crash down like I did.
I know the feeling & I recognise the symptoms.
The symptoms are showing again this time round,
but I've learnt my lesson&I'm going to be strong willed enough to hold on.
I won't,will not let myself crash down...again.
Not if I can help it.
Thanks abby,for your whole day company today.Love.(:
Oh,Thanks Jian old ah pei for the attempting to cheer me up,hur hur.
All this pain...emotions.I'm swallowing every bit of it inside.
&There it'll stay for as long as I can take it.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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