I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
To just get away from this world,a long good break from all the shit happening &just have some time to ourselves.
Tinghui,thanks for the talk today,I felt better& more...open.So now you know,all the insecurity...I love you girl.For everything <3 Some friends are worth the piority given to them,some aren't cos they obviously don't give a shit at all.
I can't put how I feel into words anymore,everything bottling,compressing inside.It's like this monster inside,dying to get out but the doors of my willpower has locked it so tightly &now it's suffocating real badly.I feel like just forgetting everything,& just to the middle of a huge road & just breakdown & cry there.Forget the world,forget the noise,forget who I am,forget everything.
&just feel the real pain that's been kept away deep down for all this time.
Denial.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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