I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
Very very drained&grumpy today.Hmm.
&Abby.I'd rather stay this way,being lost & messed up rather than find my way ( which i have a gut feeling will lead me backwards,you know what i mean ).So therefore,I'd rather be in denial & everything rather than fall back &then everything turns worse,probably.I would feel alot worse than i do now even.
I'm sorry I gave you the attitude today,&even when you purposefully walked past me & bothered to say "Hey..." (Even though it sounded very uncertain on your part,probably cos you thought i was still upset over it) ,I still didn't say anything,just giving you a half hearted smile.
Just know that it was nothing really personal towards you. ( Even though I guess I know what you were thinking cos of things that happened between us. )
Anyway,I'm fine already.It's over,gone,past.
Everything has been said & done,there's nothing left between both of us.
& Yes,friends.
We will start as friends,all over again.
So at this moment,
Let's start by saying Goodbye.
& Hello.Welcome back,friend. (:
But you have probably no idea how much I miss you.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A certain Melvin Goh ______.
I feel as though I'd die any moment of this pain, ---from one half to two years ago.
What's left is just remembrance & fragment of those memories.
Looks like I haven't stopped learning how to not rely/depend on you,even until now.
It's high time that I do start learning before things get worse or I start falling back.
Everything has changed.
Nothing's the same anymore.
At then,who would have known that one &a half to two years later...
-Now.
&I thought...Nevermind.
archivesY
February 2005March 2005April 2005May 2005June 2005July 2005August 2005October 2005November 2005December 2005January 2006February 2006April 2006May 2006June 2006July 2006August 2006September 2006October 2006November 2006December 2006January 2007February 2007March 2007April 2007May 2007June 2007July 2007August 2007September 2007