I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
To say that my mid year results are really bad,would be putting it mildly.In fact,I think you could say it was horrendously terrifying.5 out of 7 subjects failed,which one of them which is chinese,I didnt even take the fucking exam cos I've got my A1 for chinese 0 levels already.Which means the only subject that I passed out of 6 subjects I took for midyears,is geog.Which passed by like what,1 fucking mark?
...This is the worst result I've ever seen in all my years in TK,these four years in fact.For god's sake,it's the first time I've gotten anything below 55 for english,which I got a 49 for it this time (Wtf.) And it's also the first fucking time I ever failed my combined humans since upper sec,with a mark of 44 which is really bad.Oh,my chem is an f9,kee hoe will be after me very soon.
I dont have the fucking mood for any play thing or whatsoever,& damn right am I going to start studying now &just slave my ass off for my last 5 months that can save me in whatever way for 0 levels.& I'll be damned if I dont get an A1 for geog,I swear.
All the hard disappointment & demoralised feelings really suck,& I feel like absolute crap on the floor now.Whatever.Time to pack up my emotions and just move on with it,restart all over again.I've got a piano comp,a film and 0 levels waiting for me,life goes on,I can't stop here or break down now.
Screw this.
-Useless.
&I thought...Nevermind.