I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal
Myself and I
We got some straigtening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
& Big girls don't cry
You've changed.I can see that.
But like you've said too,that whatever it is doesn't matter anymore cos it's far too late for anything now.
You're right.
...Everything's too late.
Nothing can ever be like how it was before.
I'm sorry I can't let us be like how we used to be.
Let's just say...it was a mistake.
From rumoured strangers,to friends,to playmates,to best confidantes,to brother-sister,to lovers...& down to nothing.
All the....
You gave me alot of memories to keep,to relive...everything.The things...memories that make me smile wistfully at how we were.Memories that make me miss so much...
Past tense though.
Thank you for the past,no matter how unreal it seems now.
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First day of school was pretty okay I guess.& I'm not emo k,half a dozen people by the end of today asked if I was fine,saying that I was looked like a walking zombie & that I haven't spoken to them all day though they sit just behind me. Lol nah.I'm okay : D Superwomannnn. I'm just....I dont know.Monday blues?Haha.Reopening of school wasn't half as bad lah k,& plenty of laughter in Halilah's class,she & her "You think funfair ah?! " Oh god.She's so hilarious.& Sometimes she bursts out laughing herself first before she finishes retorting.I bet she finds her antics funny as well -.- Lol.
Alot of stress going on.I dont know how to cope & I dont dare to wish or hope for anything...I dont even dare to think about it.
Term 3 already.Four years in this school...seems like yesterday I was just a puny lil sec 1 with all the big dreams & naive imaginations.
But now,2 months to prelims & 2 months half or so to O's & I'll be gone.
The same horrified feeling.The icy cold feeling of dread.Tummy clenching & unclenching.Heart accelerating.Mind not thinking straight.
...Okay okay.Stop it.
Goodnight world.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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