I let myself believe this was possible.
That it was,in fact,already happening.
But I'm not going to fret over the stupidity of believing.
Wouldn't that just be a waste of psychic energy?
Another excuse to engage in an endless cycle of negativity?
Experts in the field of human behaviour,
would agree that my will to believe was not a sign of stupidity.
Experts would agree that my will to believe was a sure sign of INSANITY.
...&It was that wretched,misguiding,leechlike parasite called hope.
Hey Peterpan,can you take me away with you to Neverland?
I love my panda so very much : D It's super super super cute. gah.Thank you guys,for everything,Tinghui and Richny.You know no matter how much we've drifted I love you guys all the same & as much as ever.I'm still here when you all need me,really.Will catch up this entire year worth of stuff after my O's! I've got alot of time to spare then teeheeee.Take care dears & good luck for EOY's! Much love. (:
Prelims finish tmr! YESSSSSSS. *jumps up and down in joy.
Okay yah,maybe not really over and everything ah -.- Think I'm going to see alot of red f9's.But FOR THE TIME BEING,I am going to play until saturday before prelim papers start coming back & all hell breaks loose o.0 I'm so not looking foward to O's in exactly a month time.Everything seems to be like going at very fast timing.Mmm.....it actually feels kind of wierd to be leaving TK and stuff.Oh well.
Been studying alot at coffeebean with nicole or abby at Paya Lebar.And eating alot of Subway's veggie delite! : D So generally im supposed to be quite a happy girl I guess.Feels kind of empty though....every minute,every second.You know you get the kind of feeling like...you're waiting for something but you have no idea what the hell you're waiting for kind of thing.Yeah I know it's damn stupid,don't say anything -.- Shssshhh. Okay nevermind I think the stress has really unhinged me.
Feeling very very dead at the moment.Major headache since Amaths paper2 in the afternoon.
& Sorry ah,Im not wild so I can't really stand "wild" people.
I think my 'disappearing' in a blink of an eye' technique has improved alot! Nicole you also right?!! HEH.
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It's only your shadow,leaving the room...
Arriving too late & leaving too soon.
I'm trying to get the memory of you out my head.
You're haunting me very badly.
This is killing me.
I can't get over the past we had.
& now that you're here waiting,
something that I've always wished,
I can't run back to you cos I think my feelings are fading.
The memory of us is the only thing that's holding me here.
Sorry,give me time.
Fear is really eating my insides hollow.
&I thought...Nevermind.
English prelims was shit,how in the world would I know why the parachute was named as an "Organism" ? Bloody hell.And "Pulsating" some more. Then comp topic one word "Bridges." WHY ON EARTH BRIDGES.Bridges WHAT. -.- I literally stunned at the paper for quite some time when I saw the topic gosh.
Yeah & apparently Sonia Yeo says that she thinks this paper is too easy for her standard.& She told us that this time prelim paper english has been lowered to a normal 0 level standard and if we don't find it easy we all deserve to be shot and then die.
BANG, die.
Haven't been sleeping for a few days...wasn't feeling well today so went home early from usual coffeebean studying.Was supposed to be with Nicole actually but I pangsehed her,Sorry girl ;/ Think I'm just lack of food & sleep,I don't know.Shrugs.Head still feels abit dizzy.
I miss Gerry Gan.& I miss doing film productions & I'm yearning to write,alot of ideas going through my head recently.But I can't.Prelims are here,here,here.And with 0's upcoming...I shouldn't. : (
This whole week of studying has been entirely at coffeebean.From morning 10 am until like evening or night sometimes.Either with Jillene,Nicole or Abby.Had a good long talk with Nicole at LJS the other day after we studied,been a long long longggg time ever since we had the misunderstanding fight & we just talked about everything like that,feels good (: I'm so broke this week that Jillene and Nicole had to treat me bread lol.Yeah bread fetish.I don't know why either don't ask me lol.I think the coffeebean young malay guy is very cute in the way he always pass by me & see me in outside food then say, "Eat and hide,okay?" Then give me the thumbs up sign & a smile.Damn funny.The other time he was like,"He very bossy.Irritating also." Referring to the manager.Rofl.I like the service there overall,friendly people. (: Except when they get a full house sometimes,studying people get chased to really small tables gah. Good coffee/tea + food. ^^ Sadly I don't have the money for it.& I found out alot of shocking things this week,it has been so happening wow.I can finally do relative velocity now btw tee heeee.
I'm online now and Alex just popped up a convo going "Hi!!!!!!!!!!" (Surprising he's even online,he's usually such a pig.) It's 2 plus am in the morning now for your info.
Madness.& apparently he was like,"Why never go out with all of us for the rogue assasin movie today?You very long never accompany us already you know."
...
Dude,my prelims re-begin on monday,yes?
& Now Weijia pops a convo with a smiley face and says "See you!" Then log offline.
...Ah?
What's wrong with the world tonight.
I have hilariously weird friends.
Okay I think I'm just too bored/fried from studying thats why I'm digressing abit.
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Wanzhuo : I'm really sorry we drifted so much & that I haven't been there for you at all to the extent I don't even know what's been going on in your life at all.I'll catch up with you again asap,I promise.I've been too busy with my studies & stuff when I should have paid at least a lil more attention/care,at least more than I do now.You know I love you all the same.Take care girl.
Tinghui & Richny,much misses!
Jingyi,rememberrrrrrrr k. You're the smart one.
With love. :D
&I thought...Nevermind.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Hopes & fears.
So if you have a minute why don't we go somewhere only we know.
You can hold my hand if you want to,
cos I want to hold yours too.
Things are fine this way.
Thank you.
&I thought...Nevermind.
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